Self-control may be one of the most overlooked of all Christian virtues. "Blessed are the self-controlled" does't appear in the Sermon on the Mount. People simply tend to think of other virtues when they think of Christianity. Compassion for the poor, mercy, and chastity probably top the list, with self-control being shunted to the sidelines. But perhaps Christians should move this virtue higher up the list. Perhaps even charity, the most cardinal of Christian virtues, depends on self-control. Take Aeneas, for example.
Aeneas is the main character in the epic poem "The Aeneid" by Virgil, finished in around 19 BC. We meet Aeneas for the first time in the middle of a storm that seems likely to kill him and his men. Aeneas however, keeps a level head and safely steers his men to shore. Self control.
Next Aeneas tells the story of how he escaped during the fall of Troy, dragging both his father and his son with him to meet his wife outside the city. When he realizes that his wife didn't make it out, he goes back into the flames to find her, but she is already dead by the time he gets to her. Despite his grief, he is still able to make it out of the city to take the rest of his family away from Troy. Self control.
He falls in love and marries (kind of) the queen of the land he shipwrecks on, but then obeys the gods when they tell him to leave to found Rome. A bit twisted, but... Self control.
Once he gets to Italy he is forced into a war against some of the locals, leading a desperate charge against a very well-fortified city. Self control.
During the war Turnus, the enemy king, kills Pallas, Aeneas' adopted son and takes his sword-belt as a spoil of war. Aeneas and his men fight bravely and are eventually victorious in the war. Turnus is in utter defeat, completely unarmed, begging for mercy. Aeneas is going to let him live, but then he sees Pallas' belt draped over Turnus' shoulder.
"'Decked in the spoils you stripped from one I loved - escape my clutches? Never -
Pallas strikes this blow, Pallas sacrifices you now,
makes you pay the price with your own guilty blood!
In the same breath, blazing with wrath he plants
his iron sword hilt-deep in his enemy's heart.
Turnus' limbs went limp in the chill of death.
His life breath fled with a groan of outrage
down to the shades below."
And that's how it ends. Aeneas, practically the classical definition of self-control, completely loses it, stabbing an old man as he begs for mercy. Being human would dictate that he feel some anger upon seeing the belt stripped from the dead body of his adopted son, but charity would demand that he ignore the anger. Therefore, in this case, charity and self-control are closely connected.
But that leads to another question: How could Aeneas, who had been so clear-headed for so long, get to the point that he could kill a suppliant, someone who would be protected under all laws of hospitality at the time? The answer may lie in an unlikely place: the story of King Uzziah.
At first, King Uzziah looks like the perfect king. He seems to have everything together. He's friends with the prophet Zechariah, God's helping him out all the time, he's taking fortified Philistine cities like a champ, and even people in Egypt are telling stories about him. This guy is like King David 2.0.
But there was a catch. "And his name spread far abroad; for he was marvellously helped, till he was strong. But when he was strong, his heart was lifted up to his destruction." That was when Uzziah decided it would be a great idea for him to go into the temple to burn incense. So he did. The priests ran after him, explaining to him that things like this were no longer acceptable. It might have been acceptable in Solomon's day, but times had changed, and he needed to leave. Like now.
Up to this point, the whole debacle might have been an honest mistake. But then Uzziah lost it. "Then Uzziah was wroth, and had a censer in his hand to burn incense." At this time, the "censer" was probably a shovel used to carry incense to the altar. The ones discovered in northern Israel were over a foot and a half long with a heavy shovel at the end. In other words, a perfect club. It's difficult to say, but the emphasis on the shovel makes me think that in the moment the king got angry, he may have had more than just incense on his mind. God immediately keeps him from doing anything however, by smiting him with leprosy. He then quickly makes his exit from the temple, and from the text.
So what was Uzziah's and Aeneas' problem? Perhaps their problem was ego. They both had been very successful militarily, such that they may have developed an over-inflated opinion of themselves. Their focus on self had become all-consuming. When the moment came to exercise self-control, they were so focused on their own desires that they were not strong enough to deny their natural impulses.
Ironically enough, focus on self weakens self-control. Truly self-controlled people focus on something higher than self and stretch themselves to match their ideals. If both of these people had been focusing on their respect for God (or the laws of the gods) rather than on their own pride, they likely would have felt anger, but then would have been able to control that anger. Therefore, it seems possible that humble self-control may be the key that unlocks the door to being the kind of people we would like to be.
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