Origins

What makes people who they are?  I think I could look back at my life and say that my time as a gardener was the era of my life that defined me.  During those years I learned most of the things that have gotten me through the rest of my life: how to work hard, the importance of contemplation, working now equals food later.

But I'm not going to be a gardener for a living.  I felt like I needed to go into Biblical Studies, so that's what I've been doing for the last seven years of my life.  I sometimes still think wistfully about my days as a gardener, and part of me wishes that I could have just kept gardening, but that's not where I have felt compelled to go with my life.  So does that mean that have to drop that part of myself off on the side of the road and wave goodbye?  Perhaps not.  Maybe I can have my cake and eat it too.  Like King David.

King David started his life as a shepherd.  His dad seems to have been a shepherd.  His grandfather was probably a shepherd.  David probably figured he was going to be a shepherd for the foreseeable future.  Then one day this Samuel guy shows up out of nowhere and makes him the next king.  David probably wondered what he was supposed to do now.  He didn't know anything about kings or armies or politics.  And then Goliath happened.  This massive guy (and the Philistine army with him) shows up and threatens David's people.

David didn't know much about war, but he knew what to do when his flock was threatened, and he says as much to King Saul. "And David said unto Saul, Thy servant kept his father’s sheep, and there came a lion, and a bear, and took a lamb out of the flock: And I went out after him, and ... slew both the lion and the bear: and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be as one of them, seeing he hath defied the armies of the living God.."  Not-quite-King David was as good as his word, and eliminated the threat in Iliadesque single combat.

In this instance, it is likely that David drew on his experience as a shepherd because that was all he had to draw on.  Shepherding was all he had ever known, so acting like a shepherd was his default position.  Unfortunately, this would not always be the case.  King David would go on to be an experienced soldier and statesmen, yet he would be continuously reminded of his shepherding origins.

For example, when he is being made king at Hebron, the people remind him of how he was supposed to act as king: "The Lord thy God said unto thee, Thou shalt feed my people Israel."  Presumably this does not mean that David was personally responsible for feeding all of his subjects.  It seems more likely to me that this was meant to be a reminder to him that, even as king, it was his job to take care of Israel in the same way that he fed his flocks when he was a shepherd.

David seems to have taken this counsel to heart for a while, and reigns as a good king for some time.  But then he forgets.  He sends Joab off to fight his battles for him and violates one of his own subjects (the Dead Sea Scrolls version of 2 Samuel strongly imply that David raped Bathsheba.)  Then he kills her husband for getting in the way.  This iteration of King David seems to be a far cry from the shepherd-king he used to be.  How does God remind him of this?  He sends the prophet Nathan to talk to him, and hits him where he lives:

"There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor. The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds: But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter.  And there came a traveller unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man’s lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him."

David flies into a rage at hearing this story.  The prophet has struck a cord with him, reminding him of his origins.  The shepherd, buried deep inside the king, surges up to the surface and cries for justice against the abuser.  And then Nathan tells him: "Thou art the man."  In this moment, David seems to finally realize that stepping back is the only way forward.  He has to act as king the same way he acted as a shepherd.  He has to bring his past into his future.

David never forgets the lesson.

Near the end of his life, David sins and brings a curse from God upon the Israelites.  God kills many Israelites, and is about to kill more, when David begs God to stop: "Is it not I that commanded the people to be numbered? even I it is that have sinned and done evil indeed; but as for these sheep, what have they done? let thine hand ... be on me ... not on thy people."

Here, years after the Bathsheba incident, David is still calling his people his sheep.  He seems to have finally realized how to incorporate the best elements of his past life, the shepherd, into what he was called to do with the rest of his life: ruling over Israel.  Maybe that's the secret.  I don't have to be a gardener for the rest of my life to incorporate the best elements of my gardener-self into my current self.  Maybe all I have to do is take a leaf out of King David's book and take that part of my past with me into my future.